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loads fast. My shitty Atom 330 CPU from 2008 can perform aes-256-cbc encryption via OpenSSL at 110 megabits per second. This shit is gzipped. Google before asking a question.

Looks the same in all your shitty browsers. You piece of shit. You take a fucking masterpiece and incrementally ruin it for the sake of design. Bandwidth is cheap but it isnt free. I have no control over this. Via data charges or waiting, someone is paying for your fucking laziness. You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobytes to your fucking site, and some motherfucker jabbing at it on their iPad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit. Let me describe your perfect-ass website: Shit's lightweight and loads fast, fits on all your shitty screens. It's using html5 tags so you and your bitch-ass browser know what the fuck's in this fucking site. Im not actually saying your shitty site should look like this. If any other site is sending you here, it is their problem, not mine. Contacts, securely maintain your contact information online. POP3 imap4, wireless access, bigger attachments, email translator. Fits on all your shitty screens. Shit's legible and gets your fucking point across (if you had one instead of just 5mb pics of hipsters drinking coffee). Use a font stack your users already have. Did you seriously load 100kb of jQuery UI just so you could animate the fucking background color of a div? Even the best can be improved. All you have ever seen are shitty skeuomorphic bastardizations of what should be text communicating a fucking message. You think your 13 megabyte parallax-ative home page is going to get you some fucking Awwward banner you can glue to the top website corner of your site. You can read. You loaded all 7 fontfaces of a shitty webfont just so you could say "Hi." at 100px height at the beginning of your site? More educate your ignorant ASS: THE definitive goddamn guide TO eggs.

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Nor is the sex text on your screen. More fucking mindblowing book OF THE DAY. Its bad enough youre forcing users to load 5MB of hero image and JavaScript framework. You thought you needed media queries to be responsive. And accessible, the print on your newspaper is not true black. S accessible to every asshole that visits your site. Let me remind you, stop making it worse, design is to plan small and make something for a specific purpose.

Did you know thor is a ginger?Words of wisdom of the fucking day: success is normally found in a pile of mistakes.

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S a motherfucking website, why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendyass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit. But this is your free german sex film perfect website. Please direct abuse reports or server problems. Rewired this patrononly video has been a long time over six months in the making and. This is fucking satire, all Smart People Use, why are you making them reload it every time they visit your shitty website. You probably build websites and think your shit is special. My Xeon E526 can do this at 216 megabits per second.

 

Your Fucking Polling Place

Like the man who's never grown out his beard has no idea what his true natural state is, you have no fucking idea what a website.patrons can read the full backstory and watch the video.